I read something recently, that claimed that we primarily make decisions out of fear. It’s interesting to think about and I believe it’s true more often than not.
I went to college to continue my education and for fear of being stuck in a minimum wage job forever.
I continued on to grad school largely out of fear of not getting a good job or being a competitive employee.
I accepted my current job out of fear that no one else would hire me.
I’m still here because I got comfortable and fear moving somewhere new and not being compensated as well.
I just terminated my relationship with the guy I’m deeply in love with, out of fear of failure and an unwillingness to compromise from both of us—and the hope that with time, things may work out in the future.
How funny that fear should have such a massive role in my life. Of course it’s not the only thing at work in these scenarios, but it’s a little embarrassing to admit how large a role it plays. But, fear can be useful and I think it’s often coupled by the hope of something better. I’m going to work on shifting the lens of my fear to be a more positive force.
Instead of fearing change, I can fear a sheltered life. Instead of fearing failure, I can fear missing out on success and growth opportunities.
There was a year in my life, my freshman year of college, where I felt truly alive, unstoppable—fearless. It was the first time where everyday brought something new, fresh, exciting, challenging and my soul was on fire in the best way possible. I was obnoxiously happy. Everything was thrilling. I was so goddamn alive I could feel the energy vibrating off of me everyday. I couldn’t contain my excitement. The “Everything is Awesome” song could have been the soundtrack to my life that year.
That’s what I want to recapture in 2017. I want each day to be an active choice. I want to start living on purpose again. Take more risks. Commit more fully to each moment. The last few years have somehow managed to be both turbulent and stagnant simultaneously. It’s time to shake things up and stop living in the kind of fear that is holding me back. It’s time to get reacquainted with the better version of myself that embraces the new and unknown and see where that takes me.